What’s in your wallet?

once again, our illustrious government is embarking on yet another redesign of the dollar. this time, we’re commemorating presidents, with consecutive pieces arriving every three months. it seems like only yesterday (or rather 8 years ago) we were inundated with the ol’ Sacagawea coin, the first golden dollar coin, which no one liked. before that, in 1979, we had the Susan B. Anthony, which no one liked; before that, in 1971, the oversized eisenhower dollar, which no one liked but i had collected a few. and that’s just it. the gov’t has apparently picked up on the fact that we americans love to collect trifle things. Back in the 90’s they launched the 50 states quarter series and quickly realized that people were collecting each new quarter as it rolled out, taking those pieces out of circulation, thus making the quarter a wee bit more valuable. now, seeing as how each 25-cent piece costs less than 5 cents to produce, the gov’t is actually scoring profit whenever someone ‘buys’ a coin and holds onto it. they call that seigniorage, which is a term not found in the merriam-webster dictionary. anyway, an estimated $5 billion+ has been earned in seigniorage profits from the quarters so far. so, by saving these ridiculously designed slivers of metal, you’re helping to fund ridiculously designed games of warfare led by a less than par president who wouldn’t know what his citizens wanted if they spelled it out with crayon. but i digress, coining the dollar can only be meant for collecting, especially with today’s economy. i mean, imagine having $50 worth of these damn things weighing down your pockets. it’s just not practical. and it’s because of this reason we americans show mere indifference to dollar coins, outside of collecting. Three years after its introduction, a General Accounting Office poll found that 97 percent of Americans had not used the Sacagawea dollar within the past month, and that 74 percent could not remember ever using one.

the only benefit i see from this new design is the addition of the presidential term, and that’s solely for those who give a shit. come on, how many of you can tell me who the 11th president was without a friggin’ crib sheet? there’s simply no other reason for redesigning coins other than cashing in on the collecting factor. other notes on the redesign focus in on the revolutionary edge inscription, where we have all of the traditional info, such as: mintmark, date of striking, and mottos “In God We Trust” and “E Pluribus Unum.” the religious right-wingers are sure to protest.

keeping with the revolution, this time ’round, presidents will be commemorated whether living or dead; instead of the 2-year deceased criterion. so, years from now, i wonder what kinda drinking games there’ll be. got any bushes?